Sat in the market square hoping to see the work on the big screen but missed it again, I fear this may well turn into a bit of an obsession, i'm dying to see how people react when it appears. 

This little obsession though turned into a topic of conversation.  I asked people on the benches next to me if they had seen it, granted some did looked at me like i had completely lost my marbles but some were more open to chat.  I quite naturally found a way through conversation to mediate the work DAD is doing in town does and  preparation for viewing the work.

I'm conscious of steering conversations, it is important to keep going back to Reside, but it is as eqaully important that i listen and hear what they are saying and why they are saying it. Also i am fascinated as i have always been in the lives and stories of other people. Stories the public that the work is intended for and is informed by share with me force be to remember my reading of the work is all ways influx, fluid, open to change.  

2 conversation of note: 

- Working on the ships all over the world, leaving and coming home was part of his life for a long time,   Saw an old crest that lived behind the bar in a pub where the now cinema is...he saw it in Japan, someone had pinched it! This was an obviously fond memory he had of being homesick. Home is a magnet, he said you always want to leave for a better life, but home cooking, freinds, the call of old dover pulls you back in. Talked about immigration. Talked about feeling displaced in the community you belong when been away and how sometimes the memory of a place, or the hopes you have for a future there doesn't match up 'reality'  This was all before he had seen the work. I asked him to think of the things we talked about when he went by it. I hope he does.

A slightly drunk man walks past but the chalking caught his eye, 'no-ones looking, there all hiding arn't they' i just said im not really sure what they are thinking, i followed him up and down the work as he considered what each one might be thinking and who they might be. He used his self as an example to explain to me what he meant,  we talked for 20 minutes about appearances, judgments, paranoia the difficulties of change and the hope of being able to protect others.

Was a really enjoyable and insightful conversation for both of us i think.

Finding a way

I wasn't planning to work this afternoon but true to form curiosity got the better of me. How are the public experiencing Pierre Yves work? And why am i not there? I felt i really needed to observe today to get a sense of the general human traffic. I wanted to make myself visible at the beginning of the project to, by implication, attach my self to the exhibition.

Introduced the work to a family member. "No wonder you feel strongly about these photos, its frustration, they are pissing you of " "what do you mean" laughing at me he carried on "well their ignoring you aren't they, you hate it when people don't include you, you either go all anxious and insecure or more than likely completely the other way'

I hadn't thought of it like that.

Was reassuring to see an old friend. D. an old college, who works with the YMCA young people at Atina House over the road. She wanted to know what i was up to. Had a long chat. Positive responses to the work and the use of the space as a gallery. "its great to have something new to look at, we can see the gallery from our office". . She was keen to know about the gallery how Dover Pride and DAD have worked together. She spoke of her son, an artist who is away at uni. She would have liked a card to pass on. We talked about the project being european, as she pointed out the flag on the window. We chatted about the immediate community and how i hope to become familiar face to the people who use this walkway regularly. Trust. 'You'll have people bringing you tea and cake before to long'. I hope so!

She teachers art classes for 13-16yr olds. Going to pop in and have a chat as she may bring down some of the young people.

Felt awkward. Both invisible and conspicuous. Inhibited.

Just watched. Some glanced, some stayed for a while, some were not distracted from their conversation, inquisitive stares, always on the move.

How to join them? Really conscious of just popping up from no-where with an in your face cheesy "Hi, welcome My name is..." the kind of approach usually adopted by sales. Would this put pressure on them to talk to me, probably.

Chalks: toyed with what to write. Thought about how no-body seemed to be reading Pierre notes and if they did it was a quick scan. "oh i didn't see that" "not very noticeable as the text is bit small" "its a bit to long". Read the text again. The silence of the images disturbs our own silence. The whole series contains hint of suspicion. I chalked it on the pavement in large letters. It spoke about how i was feeling as a mediator, how i was the one looking and the one being looked at. It was a self reflexive action and also a tool to help me mediate the works ideas confidently. People were intrigued to what was being written and stopped. Some read before they saw the work, some as they passed it. Most passers bye read. Without being in their face eves dropping I could hear comments as they stood above me reading. If they stopped I told them it was the words of the artist. I wrote it again at the top of subway. I will think about this some more. I may take some time with the text, pull some questions/prompts/provocations out of it.

Spoke to a few passersbye and residents of the B&B. Didn't push conversation to much today

'lovely curiosity about them'

'they seem Fresh'

'are they all english, i've walked past'

'The only face that is looking is the bust in that photo'

'its good to see the shops being used for something other than storage'

'i prefer it at dusk'

'i think its beautiful'

-need to start recording my conversations.

Ego?

I have been thinking about my own ego. I really want my process to develop organically, although i may have a plan, this needs to remain in flux constantly shaped and moulded to compliment what is all-ready there.   I need to be intuitive to the sensibility of the community throughout the project.  Only from meeting people and building relationships can i understand what 'public' i am mediating to. 

I feel i have run away and distanced myself from Dover over the last year, but but every-time I'm back i'm 'home'. I notice so many changes but mostly where the people are concerned its like i have never been away. I think this is part of the experience of growing up in a small town. I always have been sensitive to Dover's needs, i have always have felt part of the community.I want to remember my personal links to Dover but not to let my ego overtake others interpretation.  

Is it OK to have niggling worries that i will become an outsider during this process, that maybe the community i have always seen as my own will reject me?

    WHEN ONE ASKS WHAT I WOULD ASK OF ANY AUDIENCE, I MEAN, FIRST OF ALL I WOULD BE VERY CAREFUL NOT TO ASK ANYTHING OF AN AUDIENCE OR EVEN A "VISIANCE." BUT IF I DID HOPE TO SHARE SOMETHING WITH THEM, IT WOULD BE THAT I WOULD ENCOURAGE EACH PERSON TO SEE HIS OR HER OWN INNER NERVOUS SYSTEM FIRING, BACKFIRING, AND CREATING. BECAUSE THAT ALSO IS NOT JUST FOR THE VISUAL MUSIC OR THE AESTHETICS OF IT. THAT'S ALSO BECAUSE THERE'S INFORMATION IN THERE ABOUT HOW ONE IS FEELING." - STAN BRAKHAGE

Quotes and Questions, Questions Questions...

"Such happiness as life is capable of comes from the full participation of all our powers in the endeavor to wrest from each changing situations of experience its own full and unique meaning". Dewey

"Tell me, and I forget. Show me, and I remember. Involve me, and I understand" (Chinese proverb).

"The real questions are the ones that obtrude upon your consciousness whether you like it or not, the ones that make your mind start vibrating like a jackhammer, the ones that you "come to terms with" only to discover that they are still there. The real questions refuse to be placated. They barge into your life at the times when it seems most important for them to stay away. They are the questions asked most frequently and answered most inadequately, the ones that reveal their true natures slowly, reluctantly, most often against your will.

Ingrid Bengis, Combat in the Erogenous Zone, "Man-Hating" (1973).

Thinking about:  Berger, Focult, Barthes.

*Can an Aesthetic Experience be quantified? 

*Am i ever to be sure the  connections the public make  to the work will be genuine?  

*How and where do we find meaning? 

*Unanswerable questions, Irreverent Questions

*Can we encourage or acquire or  visual language through experience, observation,and imagination? What is my role in this process

*How can i Animate the imaginations of the public?

*How can i ensure the offering of public response are not secondary to the offering of the art it's self

*How can i bring the two works together? A celebratory event?

"You can discover more about someone in an hour of play than in a year of conversation".  

Plato